I realised I have been hiding behind you for so long.
Everytime at the train station i see someone that looks like you,
or has the same back view as you I stop breathing.
How pathetic is that?
Very.
How stupid is that?
extremely.

I do that so often its like second nature to me.
I do not even realise that I do it.
I try to find that bit of you in every person I think I like.
And when I don't I give up.
Don't you ever dare look down on me,
or feel proud that someone feels this way towards you
because I hate myself for doing this.
If i found something that would stop this insanity I would
use it.

oh God what would you do with this wretched child of yours?
My actions are willing but the heart for some strange reason
refuses to let go.
Even though I cut off all forms of communication
it still haunts me.
They say the heart is willing but the body is weak.
I say the body is willing but the heart is weak.

The song where it says:
On christ the solid rick i stand,
all other ground is sinking sand.

I couldn't relate to that previously,
but now it just rings so clearly in my mind!
Everywhere I look now appears to be sinking.
except for the rock I am standing on.

Pardon the negativity,
but for tonightI just really really want to pour my heart out,
for it has been kept dormant for a little longer than usual.